Every holiday season we try to “get into the spirit” by spreading some joy, peace and good will to others. But, every holiday season we are also bombarded by situations that can put us into significant jeopardy. These situations can be summed up by 4 separate holiday stressors that when combined can cause havoc in ourselves and in our relationships.
1. While we probably cannot remember where we were — some Wednesday, in March, a few years ago—-we can almost always remember what we were doing and who we were with during the holiday season each year. Because of this, with each holiday season comes sadness and re-grieving over loved ones who are no longer at our holiday table due to death, separation or just not getting along anymore.
2. No matter what happened in the past most of us want to make our current loved ones and ourselves happy each holiday season and therefore we often end up putting ourselves in financial jeopardy or just plain tire ourselves out by trying to put a smile on everyone’s face.
3. With every holiday season comes parties and more parties—too many parties! And with parties we have much increased availability of alcohol and street drugs. Everybody seems to have a glass in their hand, whether it’s wine, beer, a mixed drink or some spiked eggnog. And, many people give us gifts in the form of alcohol. I learned in medical school that —Alcohol is the Great Disinhibitor. And, I have found that to be true. It takes away our controls that we work so hard to maintain. I was recently walking in West Hollywood when a young man who was clearly under the influence threw himself on to a car driving down Santa Monica Boulevard. Intoxication is Dangerous.
4. Many of us feel that during the holiday season we have a special license to do things that we wouldn’t normally do during the rest of the year. After all—‘Tis The
Season. And so, while mistletoe gives permission to kiss someone, the holidays in general may seem to give us permission to do lots of things we wouldn’t normally do—because—Well, it’s only comes once a year!
So, if we put all of these stressors together you can see how we can get into big-time trouble. Increased holiday stress, decreased behavioral controls and more availability of alcohol and drugs that further take away our controls can set us up for problems.
If you are out meeting people at parties and events and you’ve had a glass or two or more, your relationship radar will get jammed by the alcohol. You will miss seeing things that normally would tell you to take a step back. You will miss the Red Flags the guy in front of you is displaying. The alcohol and maybe the mistletoe as well– can lead you into a situation where your logical mind and relationship radar get overwhelmed by emotions and this can get you involved in relationships that are best avoided. Relationship Radar is all about learning to put up red lights on certain relationships while sometimes the holiday season can turn those lights to green.
So—————–
Be careful!—-If you don’t have a dependency problem–limit yourself to one drink.
If you do have an abuse or dependency problem—then nurse that ginger ale with a twist of lemon till the party is over. Or better yet, limit the number of parties you go to and increase the number of 12 Step meetings you go to ( AA or NA ) during the holidays.
Focus on the real meaning of the holiday season and avoid turning a time of peace and joy into—–“MARGARITAVILLE”
Click on Wasted and Get the Picture!
RELATIONSHIP RADAR 
Posted on December 5, 2011
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